On a personal note.

People confuse me. It seems like most of waking moments are taken up by trying to figure out what is going on with people. I wonder what’s making them tick inside. How do people live, really? Being essentially a loner who wanders around and eavesdrops whenever possible, I’ve learned a few interesting things about people. Enough to raise further questions about life in general and the world. There’s the image that people put up, of course. There’s the version of themselves that they want other people to believe, but that’s mostly just a front. I suppose it’s a strange combination of a protective shell with what they might really wish they were. Then there are those who are so enveloped and empty inside that this persona actually absorbs them and there’s nothing else left. These people are dangerous and to be avoided.

It’s the real people underneath that confuses me. See, I get the facade. These are usually simple, happy and easy to understand. But the problem is that peoples real behaviour rarely tallies up with these fronts. I’m no psychologist and barely educated of course. So these ramblings are really nothing more than nonsense and can’t be backed up in any way, shape or form. But the purpose of this blog is more for me to go through my own thoughts and observations; no matter how wrong they may be. So there you have it. Anyway, it’s the people underneath. What makes people think, feel and act the way they do? See, despite my overwhelming seeming pessimism I am actually a profound optimist in many ways. I really do believe in the human race, in people in general and that people are mostly good inside. So I wonder how and why these people end up the way they do. Look at it this way. Everybody has something that gets them out of bed. I’ve been the guy trapped in his bedroom unable to leave his bed. I’ve felt so utterly useless and hopeless that I simply saw no reason to get up or brave the outside world. Hell, I’ve been afraid of people in general for a while now. But people do find something that makes them tick. Maybe for most people it isn’t anything big or dramatic. Maybe it’s something tiny, like seeing the way their puppy cocks his head to one side when he hears a strange sound for the first time. Maybe it’s to raise their newborn son. Maybe it’s to get out and water the garden. Or maybe it’s so they can design the worlds next mighty skyscraper or masterpiece.

So people confuse me. I can grasp the big stuff. I feel like I can understand the way people think or feel on a fundamental level. I can relate to people. I’ve always had a strong sense of empathy, that is been able to put myself into somebody else’s shoes and consider how they might feel about a situation. But these nitty gritty bits and pieces are my undoing. It’s the strange rituals of how strangers talk to each other on the street for the first time. It’s how a normal person goes into a bar, lines up, orders the drink and proceeds to talk to a strange woman. It’s how two strangers hug for the first time and somehow it isn’t awkward. It’s how to look at one another without feeling strange, weird or uncomfortable. In many ways I feel like my life journey is all about becoming a human being. I can be more specific on that later on, but for now I’ll stick to my overall point. People are just baffling creatures. I’m jealous of them. I’ll admit it. People have told me, recently, that I’m quite arrogant and intimidating. I’ll admit that I’m arrogant. It’s a defence mechanism I actively chose to adopt when I was a teenager with no confidence and awkward about everything. I was watching Dr.Who at the time and saw the 6th Dr, played by Colin Baker at the time. This is very sad, but being a huge fan of the show, his portrayal really spoke to me. I’d never seen this Doctor before and it was something of a revelation to me. He was.. Arrogant. Loud. Proud. Brash and confident. If he was being accosted, accused or confronted he stood up straight and tall and looked them in the eye. I admired that. Being quite a tall and skinny teenager I tended to stoop and hunch. The 6th Doctor taught me to stand up tall. It’s something I do to this day. So yeah, I admit I’m arrogant and brash. I try to be. But intimidating? That shocked me.

It feels like my entire life has more or less been about me being belittled by other people. Primary School was certainly like that from Day 1 of year 1 right through to the final day of year 7. My parent’s never took it seriously when I tried to tell them. I don’t think my dad took any real notice until we came to the last 2 or 3 days of school. We’d already graduated you see and so the last few days were just filler. I told my parents there wasn’t any need for me to go there for one second longer- and so I wouldn’t. I remember my Dad seeming somewhat confronted by this. He said I’d spent my childhood with these people and I wouldn’t see many of them ever again. I might regret that when I was older. I told him if I had my way I’d never see any of them ever again as long as I lived. I think this unsettled him a little. I meant it then and I still stand by it. I feel the same about high school for the most part, too. I have no desire to see anyone from high school who I haven’t already made contact with already. Honestly, just fuck off

Anyway, I intimidate people. See, this is difficult for me to wrap my head around because I feel so insignificant. I guess I’m tall and miss social cues. I also say things bluntly and blatantly, which is probably rude, I suppose. I don’t dance around. I don’t play these little games with people. I just say what I feel otherwise I shut my damn mouth. If somebody asks me for information, such as my opinion, they get it. I also look angry. My default face seems to be an angry face. People think I’m serious. Maybe it’s true. Maybe I am too serious and think too much- but again, I feel quite absurd and silly. I used to do a lot of comedy work in drama in high school and to this day I consider my writing to be comedy. I call myself a comedy writer and I feel as though I understand comedy. Arrogant, perhaps, but there it is. So you see, how could this piddly, bullied sub-human possibly be confronting? And yet I am. Somebody once told me that they feel like I’m too intelligent for them. Me? I quit high school when I was 16. And then again at 17. I did year 11 twice and quit twice. I’ve never studied since. I’ve worked at a fast food store for eight years now, 5 of them as a manager. I’ve never been good at maths or science- just writing or reading. How is THAT intelligent?

So yeah. People confuse me and I intimidate them. I spend most of time my time alone and to be honest that’s how I like it. I have more to say on these things but that will do for today. Read on later if you’re interested in discovering the thought processes of my insanity!

Graphic weekend in Sydney

A few weeks ago I flew over to Sydney and attended the Graphic Festival being held at the Sydney Opera House. The drawcard for me was Neil Gaiman, who was doing a reading of an unpublished short story in the concert hall, accompanied by the Fourplay string quartet and the artwork of Eddie Campbell projected onto a screen. However I was even more excited to find that Gaiman was also going to be headlining a panel on developing ideas.

I only really found out about this quite late, so I booked my ticket about a week and a half before. Whilst looking at the website I kept finding other interesting events I'd like to attend, so I found myself signing up for other panels and free workshops. I had to pick and choose because some things schedule clashed with others.

Here's what I attended. First there was a panel on getting published. The slant was on graphic novels, as the festival revolved around graphic novels (comic books), visual mediums, animation and so forth. Sort of the new, amalgamated literature as it emerges today. Gary Groth from Fantagraphics was at the panel. Fantagraphics have been publishing independent comics for years and I must admit I'd never directly heard about them until the festival. I found his perspective quite insightful and interesting indeed. Perhaps the key point he seemed to stress was to practise your craft. Do it as often as you can and just keep developing your skills. And be active and involved as much as you can with communities and whatnot. If you do this, you'll be noticed.

Shortly after that I headed to the concert hall for "The Truth is a Cave in the Black Mountains." This was the reading of Neil's short story, which had never been read in public before. It was a full house, more or less, an audience of 2000. Neil himself had said, leading up to the event, that it was something he'd never really done before. Something of an experiment. The story was about 80 minutes long or so. It was dark and moody. Perhaps even foreboding. But altogether the experience was utterly enthralling and I found myself thinking that despite films, radio or television that this really was the best way to communicate a story. To stand in a room and read it aloud and with vigour. The audience hanging on your every word. The music and the artwork only helped this along and created a wonderful atmosphere. Afterwards we were treated to a short Q&A, run by the artist Eddie Campbell, who had provided the artwork. A strange and wonderfully charming Scotsman, he'd moved to Brisbane to live. Eddie is perhaps best known for his artwork on the graphic novel "From Hell." (Eddie had even self published it from the front room of his house at one point and was also at the Publishing workshop.) The banter between Neil and Eddie was especially delightful as the two have known each other for around twenty five years. It was playful and very entertaining! Neil ended by reading a poem. I've forgotten which one it was! I need to chase up and find that info out as I do recall enjoying it a lot.

I got a pretty good seat, considering I booked so late. An advantage to going alone, I think.

That was it for the evening. I'd actually worked the night shift the night before and pretty much gone straight to the airport, into Sydney and then straight to the Opera House. I was pretty tired at this point. Except that my friend Scott was in town and decided to take me on an explorative journey through Kings Cross. It was Saturday night and teeming with life. The place was filled with people searching for a good time. Some found them in the endless arrays of strip clubs and others found them in tangled brawls which scattered across the pavement and trickled onto the roads. The crowd was thick but I felt remarkably safe, provided you watched where you were going. I saw quite a few riot squad police cars and the occasional ambulance. It was cold as hell, though. Didn't stop the girls from walking around in hardly anything at all. They must have been freezing.

So we pottered about, saw this and that. Went into a cafe and talked about my book. Well, I talked about my book at length and he listened. I didn't dare touching any alcohol because I'd been awake something like 28 hours by that point and I knew I'd instantly fall to sleep. After much wandering, walking, drinking coffee, talking and what have you, we bid our farewells and I stopped at my hostel.

Bunk bed in hostel. Cheap and effective!

3 hours sleep was all I got, for after that I was awake and charging my phone, checking out and tossing my bag into a locker for the day. Then it was back up to the Opera House. I had time for a quick breakfast and a few photos, before the next event was due.

View of the Bridge from Circular Quay.

The morning panel was on Fantagraphics. Gary Groth basically discussed the history of the company. How it began, what the early days were like and so on. I've read quite a few bits and bobs from Fantagraphics but I never really knew who they were. I'm glad I've discovered them because what they publish is most definitely up my alley. Anyway, that was rather informative and fun! We broke for lunch, which was pleasant in the harbour. I sat in the sun and soaked up some rays. I work nights so I don't get a lot of sun. It was kinda pleasant.

An amazing Graphic Novel published by Fantagraphics which I picked up.

Next was an even better panel, on developing ideas. This comprised of Shaun Tan, Neil Gaiman and Eddie Campbell. Shaun Tan is a remarkable artist from Perth who has made some absolutely incredible books, including "The Arrival." Neil Gaiman is one of my favourite authors and pretty much my hero. And Eddie, the slightly twitchy Scottish artist, was baffling and memorable. I had a wonderful seat and found the whole discussion fascinating. I even got to ask Neil a question at the end, which was pretty much a dream come true. I got to communicate with my hero! He was aware of my existence and pondered a thought I put his way. That's just awesome. He gave a pretty damn good answer, too.

This was the view from my seat in the "developing ideas" panel.

I forgot to mention, but after the performance the night before, there was a whole bunch of stuff for sale. The Opera House had wanted him to do a signing, but after he explained the logistics of such a thing, they backed away. So Neil went over to Books Kinokinya and signed everything they had, which was around two thousand books. They had these for sale afterwards. The line was massive- I was lucky enough to get in quite close to the front. The organisation was terrible however. People sort of spilled over the sides and were more or less pushing their way into the front! I hear people waited up to an hour and a half in line though. I was probably there for fifteen minutes. I managed to get a copy of Absolute Sandman vol2. A lovely volume. I have vol1 but needed 2 (and 3 and 4.)

On Sunday afternoon, after the panel on developing ideas, I headed back to my locker, charged my iphone up and headed to the airport. I was there a few hours early, but I didn't really have anything I wanted to do in town. I'd already spent enough money! So I sat in the airport terminal, overtired and over excited and pondered over what I'd just experienced.

The biggest thing I took away from the weekend was that I know I can make it. Getting in with likeminded people was an invigorating experience. The publishing workshop was also extremely valuable, I feel. I realised that I really do have what it takes. It's very cut and thrust out there and publishers can be extremely unforgiving. But all you have to do is keep working hard. That's the one thing I haven't really been doing. Just reading and writing. Like Gary Groth said, you need to practise your craft and develop your skill. I decided in that airport terminal that I would write and read, every day from now on. No excuses. This would come first and foremost. And I know that I will. I am giving myself one year to be ready to approach publishers with material. That doesn't mean that I'll get published then. It might still take time. But I'll be ready.

Program Guide.

I know that this is something that I really want to do with my life. I'm serious about it. Telling stories has been the one skill I have ever managed to have, naturally. In order to use this to my advantage and make something of it, I simply need to get out there and put in the work. Put in the effort. Write every day, without fail. Just get the practise I need to develop into a formidable writer. I know I can do it. I just know.

Despite the fact that I couldn't really afford the weekend I'm glad that I went. And I really owe that to my friend Katie. I had posted on Facebook that I wasn't going to attend, even though I wanted to, because I had no money. She told me that events like this are what debt is for. That's a somewhat reckless thing to say, but I'm glad she said it because I truly feel like my time in Sydney on that weekend was an important turning point for me in my life. So yeah, it was worth every cent and every second.

In Defense of Radio Drama

Radio Dramas are possibly the best form of media there is. There, I said it. I know those are fighting words in todays world and certainly a lot of people outside the UK (or even in the UK) would barely even know what a radio drama, audio drama, radio play or some such actually is. Well, let me tell you.

A radio drama is pretty much like a television show or film, except without the visuals. That is to say it's a scripted story with actors, music and special effects. Often the writing has to be more creative in order to accommodate the format and explain to the listener what is going on. Despite these limitations I feel that this format is truly wonderful. The budget is almost limitless; you can go anywhere and do just about anything. You still have actors giving performances and bringing the characters to life. You still have a musical score. However the information isn't quite so spoon fed. Instead of sitting in front of a screen and being force fed all the information visually, you become engaged in the story. By listening to the dialogue, FX and so forth and filling in the blanks with your own mind you become submersed into the world more completely.

One thing a radio drama is NOT is an audio book. An audio book is as far removed from a radio drama as a politicians speech is from a television drama. Audio books are usually just an actor reading words from a book. Sometimes there's a bit of music or effects, but mostly it's just the story being read. It annoys me when people lump radio dramas in the same category. Or can't tell the difference. Once is a full production with a huge amount of effort and design and the other is a bedtime story.

Here's some great examples of radio drama:

1. Fatherland

John Dryden's adaptation from the Robert Harris book of the same name is one of the best examples I can give. The story is set in a version of history where the Nazi's won the second world war. Dryden's recording style sounds as though somebody really is standing in the room and recording the events as they unfold. Very little music but lot's of ambience in this production. Drawn out and subtle performances from the actors help create a truly chilling environment. A great book and memorable radio experience.

2. The Hobbit

This 1960s Adaptation doesn't have all the bells and whistles of the modern radio drama but it still holds up today. The script was masterfully written to work for the format, although it does occasionally suffer from the cast members having to explain what they are doing. The drama really sucks you in and the end of each episode really leaves you wanting more. This is one of the plays which got me completely addicted to radio drama. It's just a shame that the 1980s version of "Lord of the Rings" turned out to be utterly average.

3. The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

In many ways this was the play which changed the landscape for radio drama forever more. When Douglas Adams was commissioned to write his science fiction comedy series he started asking questions. Why couldn't radio drama sound as slick and polished as a Rock n Roll record? And so he set to work, not only on the script, but worked heavily with Paddy Kingsland and spent hours at the BBC Radiophonic Workshop, developing an incredible series. Of course he would later adapt the series into a highly successful series of novels, but the radio plays came first. It's just a shame the second series wasn't quite as good and ended on a climax which more or less remained forever unresolved. (Although Dirk Maggs did try to explain this away when he adapted the last three books for radio a few years ago.)

4. The Goon Show

Every once in a while a group of people come together and create magic. This is certainly what happened when Peter Sellers, Spike Milligan, Harry Secombe. (Michael Bentine left well before its peak.) This is a series which included insane scripts that seem to go nowhere, memorable characters and hilarious sketches. Forget Monty Python, these guys were the real trailblazers. But their use of narration and sound effects often works into the comedy just as well as the actors themselves. Simply put, this show is a classic and one of the best things you'll ever hear.

How to make a good Judge Dredd movie

Vantage Point director Pete Travis has signed on to direct a new 3D Judge Dredd movie reboot. As exciting as this news is, I can't but be a little apprehensive. I really feel like he's not a character that is ever going to work in a Hollywood feature. At least not in the traditional manner in which I'm sure this film is going to attempt.

See, I've got an interesting take on how to make a really good "Dredd," movie. The problem is that Dredd just isn't going to work for most audiences. You're going to have to try to humanise him too much, which takes away from the potency of the character. He's kind of like a exaggeration. His skill, attitude and abilities make him difficult to relate to. Heck, in the comics he doesn't even take off his helmet. I'm fairly certain you never see his face.

The Judge Dredd movie in 1995 tried to make him more human, give him a traditional action hero kind of story line and it turned into a joke. So how can you make a really great judge Dredd movie? Simple. Don't make it a Judge Dredd movie. Make it a 2000 AD

movie. Do it the same way Sin City was made. Several different little short stories. Set in Mega City one, many of these tales will feature Dredd and end up tangling together into a climax in the end. One of the best features of the 2000 AD comics is these little one off tales they have inside. These original, short stories have served to paint the picture of a fascinating view of the city. By following the Sin City movie formula you get to showcase this incredible landscape while still retaining the potency of the Dredd character. Smaller doses, highly stylised. Hell, you'd probably want to film it all on green screen too.

You want the film to have this over hyped style, so that these extreme characters and bizarre future settings work together. The funny thing is that by making a 2000 AD movie instead of Judge Dredd, the character is probably more likely to be preserved. Remember how badass Marv was in Sin City? Now imagine a Judge Dredd presented the same way. That's how it oughta be, kids!

Top 5 must read online comics

One of the great things about the internet is the ability for talented artists and writers to freelance and produce some really great material online. These ideas might have never seen the light of day in the past but thanks to the internet are able to slowly build up an audience and develop in popularity.

I've been following many web comics for a number of years and these are my personal favorites. I highly recommend checking these out.

1. Diesel Sweeties

This pixelated web wonder has been updated every weekday since back in 2000. Richard Stevens is a master of tapping into the nostalgic niche of classic pixel artwork which has since exploded all over the web. However what sets this apart from the others is his ability to continually surprise us with masterfully worded puns and some really cool characters. Despite the very geeky content and drawing style, he's also very much in tune with female readers which can be difficult to achieve. This makes this comic enjoyable to almost anybody. The strip was actually syndicated in newspapers for a period of time, but rstevens has since gone back to the web only model of which he seems mostly comfortable. His talent for memorable one liners and catch phrases has also weaved into the online store with some wonderful merchandise available for sale. His shirts have featured on "The Big Bang Theory" and "The IT Crowd." But perhaps it's rstevens laid back, casual and friendly manner towards his fans which keeps me coming back for more.

2. Pokey the Penguin

This gem has truly awful style of artwork and often incomprehensible plots and dialogue. And yet I consider these comics to be some of the best I've seen online. These are understandably very difficult to get into and you need a really offbeat sense of humour. Often the downright absurdity of the dialogue or situations is the basis of the humour. I love the way that the characters seem to revere Pokey in many of the issues. They often do and believe what he says even if it makes little sense or is frankly dangerous. This isn't one to read too much into. Just enjoy the flow of dialogue and abrupt endings. Thanks to these comics, when asked a question I often respond with the cumbersome reply "The answer is no."

3. Boy on a Stick and Slither

The artwork on this series really stands out to me. The comic looks cute and colourful, however the humour is very dark and frequently twisted. Each of the strips involves Boy on a Stick discussing a topic with his pessimistic and selfish friend Slither. Often the settings are bizarre and interesting. The use of colour alone makes this artwork a joy to look at and the writing is snappy and memorable.

4. Ornery Boy

Ornery Boy is an angry goth who finds himself in all kinds of bizarre predicaments. Again, the content here is quite dark and the humour often involves horror. But the drawings themselves are extremely adorable. I find myself wishing that this was picked up as an animated series. Sadly the strip updates quite infrequently however the quality of the work is well worth the wait.

5. Joe Loves Crappy Movies

This is a movie themed comic which should appeal mostly to movie buffs and nerds. It's a great comic with some excellent interaction between the main characters. I also really love some of the expressions on the characters faces. They're just so well done. If you're into movies and just a little bit pedantic I think you'll enjoy reading these.