Somebody recently told me that i haven't been degraded to the point where i've lost my sense of "hope," yet. I found this comment interesting because it's something several people have told me over the years, and it came right before a very trying personal period for me at the end of last year.
Everybody needs a sense of hope in order to get through the day. How else do we get out of bed and get on with life without going completely insane? Sure, for some there's a sense of duty involved. Parents would understand their responsibilities, at least I'd hope they would. But everybody has something they care about, something that gets them out of bed each day.
But in todays world, or at least from our Western perspective, what actually is hope? What does it mean for the average joe who works the 9-5? Does one's definition of hope change as the years go by? Many of the people who said I had too much hope and had yet to learn the realities of the world were older people who had endured hard times.
Perhaps people bottle themselves up and try to convince themselves that they don't really care and therefore don't hope. The lover scorned will endure his agony and vow never to care for anybody every again. I believe some people are so deeply affected by these personal tragedies that they really do convince themselves that they don't feel a thing. How can you be disappointed about something if you didn't expect something better? If a girl doesn't like you, then it's oK because you don't care for such things anyway and never really wanted it.
I suppose my personal outlook is rather childish. But I think it's been this way my whole life. If there's one thing I've always found unbearable it's definitely been apathy. Give me passion. Give me hatred. Give me love, romance, ecstasy and agony. Give me the burning desire to own, to want, to love, to hate or to believe. But for god's sake, have a fucking opinion. In this way I respect those who have different viewpoints than my own but care passionately about them, than somebody who simply flutters through life like a helpless, vague pot of emptiness. I've encountered many of these people through the years. People who seem utterly empty. But it does make me wonder.
Surely even these people believe in something? Perhaps they just never reveal their true beliefs or interests around me. Maybe they're just to shy or insecure to stand up and declare for what they believe in. Perhaps. I'd certainly like to think that's the case for these people. Perhaps it is the case for most of them. But I can tell you now that there are some people out there who really are just empty. I consider these people to be the closest thing a real life monster. Why? If you don't care about life- or get excited about anything- then what kind of human being are you really? I knew somebody like this once. They were utterly selfish and justified their own life by having children, which they didn't look after properly. I suppose they were self conscious enough to justify their own actions. "I'm not a bad person, who doesn't feel strongly about anything. Who doesn't love or really care. I'm a parent. I have my children." But as i said, it's just justification. This person didn't look after her child, who had learning difficulties and as a result needed extra attention. Despite this, this person went and had another child. Why? To justify her own empty life. I find that monstrous, thus such people are real life monsters.
But, to get back to my original point. I consider myself to be a passionate person. And hope has always been a strong part of my life. People write this off as being naive or inexperienced. I find this insulting and condescending. It makes me angry that these people won't consider looking at the world from a different viewpoint. A positive outlook. No, the only reason this guy thinks the way he does is because he hasn't learned better yet.
I refute this sentiment. I'll refute it to the day I die.
There's nothing naive about choosing to see the wonders of the world. Yes bad things happen and the world is a big, bad scary place. Most of the world isn't safe and millions of people live in poverty and despair. Every day one person makes a conscious effort to cause another person harm. But so what? Life isn't fair. The problem we have as humans is that we tend to think that life ought to be fair. You do good things and good things will happen to you. The reality is that this simply isn't true. The world is what it is. Bad things happen sometimes. But so what? Good things happen sometimes too. The world is flawed and that's what makes it beautiful.
You can't have light without dark. You can't have the good without the bad. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I'm pleased about the millions of people in harms way. But the overall picture of life, the universe and our place in it is a beautiful one. And it's good to have healthy reminder of the reality of the world, especially for those lucky enough to live in the Western world. The floods in Queensland are terrible and there's much suffering to come out of it. But if the same thing had happened somewhere in the third world, the community would seriously struggle to recover. Look at Haiti.
Hope is about accepting the negative parts of life, while embracing the positive. It's about caring about something so much that it keeps you going every day. Many things energise my life and give me hope. Art is definitely one. I include all forms of art in that. Paintings, music, TV, theatre, comics- all of it. I also believe in potential. Human beings really are amazing creatures and when we put our minds to it we can achieve great things. There's nothing better than seeing somebody doing something they love and doing it well. Their excitement, their energy, sense of joy, purpose and dedication is inspiring to me. I believe people are basically good. Most people try to do good, in their own way. I also think that a good deal of people become weighed down by life. I don't blame them. Life can be extremely tough. The single mother struggling to look after her child, the cancer patient still trying to live his life. These people often despair because they feel helpless, or they feel bad because they're trying.
My hope can offend people. I have friends who I admire. Sometimes they think that my image of them is wrong, ie you think I'm better than I am. I get that a lot. What these people don't understand is that I'm not putting them on a pedestal. I know they have flaws and limits. I know they struggle. That's what I admire. The fact that they struggle. They find it tough but they keep on going. I find great joy and appreciation in the little things in life, such as these. I have an overwhelming sense of positivity. I look at the future and what it might bring and I begin to wonder. Hope sent us to the moon. Hope gave us the greatest scientists, the greatest musicians and the most memorable adventures.
Hope is childish? I don't think so.
